Sometimes I get confused by things in the Bible. Take, for example, Matthew 5:13 where Jesus talks about being the salt of the earth ... if the salt loses its saltiness how can it be made salty again? What does that mean? Jesus was talking to His disciples, although there was a crowd present as well. He said His disciples are the salt of the earth. But if they lose their saltiness they can't gain it back, no longer good for anything ... say what??? Maybe what that means, in light of the rest of the chapter, is if they don't keep His commandments, their words and their actions won't match, therefore they will no longer have any effect on the world around them. Okay, I have to think about that for awhile.
The next 3 verses talk about being the light of the world. Verse 16 says to let your light shine so that men see your good deeds and praise God. So even though we aren't saved by works, our works, our choices, our words reveal our hearts ... so our works are not what save us, but our works reveal God in our lives. And even though we have been saved by grace, that saved-ness will not be evident to those around us unless we follow His commandments. It gets a little tricksy, huh?
Sometimes when I think about these things it seems a little wonky to me, like everything is a riddle. Maybe I think too much. Maybe, just maybe, I haven't fallen in love with Him enough to have my actions take the natural course of love, which is doing what pleases Him, following His commands just so I can be close to Him. I can still remember when I first met my husband. He was so larger than life to me, I wanted to do everything to please him, there was never a moment I wouldn't rather be with him than doing anything else. Have I felt that with Jesus? I have to say honestly that I haven't. So, right now, I'm reading. I'm spending time with Him. Because I want to fall in love with Him. I want to be desperate for Him. I want to desire to please Him. So I'm still reading. I'm still praying. Every day.